GAME OF LOVE

GAME OF LOVE

It is not a battle, but it is very fierce. The game of love, a game where trust is a big question. A game of two halves of love and lust, whichever you decide to play in, is at your own cost.

       In this game you are regarded as the best player, if you are able to dribble as many chics as you want without scoring a goal; only then can you be awarded with the infamous award “PLAYBOY”.     In this game the word mercy exists only at the back page or not at all; on the cover page, you will find the word FUN boldly written.

       “Messilessly” the guys dribble the chics and “Ramosly” the chics try to stop their amorous advances. In this game, you don’t have or need a Howard Webb to be fair in officiating the game. Ironically there are no rules in this game, you either kick or be kicked; it is a free for all game. Interestingly some decide to stand on the lines and remain spectators.

       The only match fixing ever witnessed in the game of love is gossip. This crime is more rampant with the chics, and the Supreme governing body of this game, “Free Independent Flirts Association (FIFA)”, is trying to curtail the fixing.

The game is an open transfer market, but here you don’t buy or sell; you just steal the player that has the money bag or beauty packs, not minding if your best friend is the manager of the player.

      

       One funny thing about this game is that it is always in session and unlike other types of games where fatigue is an excuse, here fatigue is a sickness and all players are always in form.

       As a guy that wants to join this game, money must be ringing bell in your pockets, because that’s the only socket that gives a girl wireless connection.

As a girl that wants to join the game, in order to appear more appetizing in the transfer market, you can colonise two different countries (Brazil & Nigeria) on your hair, and maybe call it “BRAGERIAN HAIR”. It doesn’t matter, if you paint yourself into a modern masquerade, because no guy will play if you are not… Don’t forget to polish your English and fine tune your voice, because guys are tired of hearing “I’m Brushing” instead of “I’m Blushing”.  

If you want to be a spectator, fine! Funny enough, there are no gate fees, but don’t indulge in match fixing. And be careful, the goals that are not scored on the field of play can be scored at the viewing points.

I like this game

Like seriously?

Oops!

Augustus C.

07033000052

^©2013.

www.umuahianlodge.blogspot.com

PEACEFUL DIVORCE.

PEACEFUL DIVORCE.

Unlike other divorce where either party seek parting shots in courts, either requesting for the custody of the kids or half of the wealth, the special one was given a peaceful divorce, after he refused to settle the dust he raised at Bernabau.

With a lot of trophies to his CV, he is always an august visitor wherever he goes, and every husband clamour to have him as wife.

One thing must not be left unsaid about the special one. In most of the contract marriages in which he had either served or was served the divorce, he has always left such marriages with unending nemesis for such husbands. Recounting just but a few, the bridge at Stamford collapsed after he left in 2007. Inter Milan enjoyed the child of his marriage with them, when they lifted the Champions League in 2010, but they have since, remained impotent after he served them a divorce that same year. Real Madrid is already suffering the nemesis of his existence at Bernabau.

With all these rooms in the columns of his CV, one begins to wonder what change he will bring to his new husband Chelsea, and what will be the aftermath of his departure. It must be noted that this will be the second time this couple are getting married.

It has been a lot of mutual divorce, Benitez, though hated by his husband Chelsea, wasn’t a barren wife after all. He gave birth to a Europa Cup, and a Champions League ticket, amidst the curses and boos from the fans, who served him with dirt throughout his stay, even on the night of his delivery, he wasn’t spared. He was eventually served the divorce, after fulfilling his promises to his husband.

I wonder what will be the fate of Man. United after its beloved wife left the scene in a shocking retirement. Though a new wife had been acquired, one still wonders what will be the fate of this new marriage.

It is still uncertain, what Arsene Wenger will be telling his husband, after 8years of barrenness and late miscarriages of Champions league qualification. I bet his marriage contract is either been reviewed or he has a plan on selling another of his oldest sons.

With all these and more divorce been recorded in football, it is now safe to state that soccer is one of such marriages that needs a contractual agreement.

We happily welcome our newly married wives, and wish them the best as we wait for the honeymoon that will be kicking off sometime in August.

Augustus C.

07033000052

^©2013.

www.umuahianlodge.blogspot.com

Facebook Begins Charging to Delete Photos

Facebook Begins Charging to Delete Photos

Faced with continued investor skepticism over its long-term business model, Facebook has quietly started testing a new way of generating additional revenue - charging money to delete old photos.

The new settings, which are currently in beta, ask users to pay $5.00 to delete any photo more than 1 year old from their own Facebook profiles, and up to $20.00 to delete photos of themselves on other people's profiles.

Analysts say that Facebook could generate huge revenues from the new photo settings because many users are desperate to hide embarrassing pictures of themselves from family and potential employers.

Topher Anderson, a technology equities analyst at Citigroup says the new charges could single-handedly help Facebook's sagging stock price recover to its IPO level of $40 a share.

"This new photo fee is a stroke of genius," claims Anderson, "We estimate that over 50 million users will use the feature, spending on average $35 a year to delete the most embarrassing pics. The annual boost to Facebook's top line will be well over $1 billion."

NASA Finds Message from God on Mars.

NASA Finds Message from God on Mars.

Few days ago NASA announced that its Curiosity Rover has found an unambiguous message from God written on tablets in a Martian cave.

According to an official press release, two giant stone slabs the size of small elephants were located deep inside a cavern abutting Aeolis Mons, a large mountain.

Upon one tablet is a copy of the Ten Commandments and the text of John 3:16 written in 12 languages - including English, Spanish, Chinese, Basque and Hebrew. On the other tablet is a simple message in English reading "I am real."

According to top scientists who have studied the discovery extensively, these findings may have definitively established Christianity as the one true religion.

"This is amazing," says Syms Covington, an Australian researcher working for NASA's Mars Exploration Program. "We went into the cave looking for water, and we found proof of God's existence instead.

"I mean how else did those tablets get there? I can tell you one thing: there's not a single atheist inside NASA's control room now. What we saw was jaw-dropping."

Genesis 1:1

NASA's Curiosity rover arrived on Mars in August of last year with a mission to explore the Martian climate and geology for signs for habitability.

Thus far the mission has been a success, with the discovery of an ancient seabed and chemicals needed for life suggesting that Mars was once suitable for life.

However the tablets, both of which are signed "Peace and Love - Yahweh," represent the rover's most significant find to date, and is perhaps the most important scientific event in history.

"When people find out about this, they will demand change in our society," explains a political scientist at Georgetown University. "Democracy will have to give way to theocracy. We're gonna have to build more churches and reintroduce prayer into schools. Abortion is defiantly going to be illegal within a few months."

Despite its potential significance, Covington fears that the Earth-shattering discovery may not make the impact it should.

"Unfortunately, the mainstream media is so anti-Christian, they might not even pick up this story," he explains. "But God is real. We have proof. And everyone deserves to hear the truth."

WHERE ARE THEY?

WHERE ARE THEY?

As many artistes, both upcoming and ‘Celebs’ are making beats and hits in the music industry, I have sat with my hands on my chin to think of some ironies in this prestigious industry of ours. My usual curiosity led me to observe that some big names we shouted so loud, have tuned so low, that we now mention them in whispers.

       First on my list of missing names is my cool, crazy friend,

CHUDDY K: - He sent us crazy with that gaga hit that cruised about in night clubs and parties. Most of us questioned the lyrical content of such song, but who cares, so long as you can move your body and girls move their waist to the beat, the lyrics can be buried somewhere. His entrance in the industry that year got him a credible landmark, as he won the best street pop for that year. But I have come to notice that this dude, whose song, Disc Jockeys pounded in every night party, have either gone missing or changed occupation. Ever since he gave us that costly Brazilian hair, not much has been heard of him. Probably the Brazilian hair was so costly that he spent all his talent to purchase it. His managers at YQN should have informed him that a cheap ‘weavon’ would have done more good in keeping him on track. Please if you should meet my missing friend anywhere, help me tell him that the Brazilian hair he gave us is overdue, and now old. We need a new hairdo, this time a better one that won’t make us gaga crazy.

CHUDDY K

       The second on my list of missing names is my cool homeboy,

MISH: -  He loves home so much, that he would want to board an aero to his village. Most of us have forgotten that he taught us the now famous dance step ‘etighi’, when he busted our eardrums with that blazing single ‘AkwaIbom’. The lyrical content wasn’t so bad, judging by the fact that it wasn’t my language and I could barely decode its meaning. He used that single to teach us some nuggets about his culture. I have wondered where he might be; probably he has finally gone home, like he always wanted. Anyone who comes in contact with him should please ask him, if he used motor or aero to get to Uyo.

MISH

       I still have a lot of missing persons in my box of curiosity but I will kindly leave that for the subsequent edition.

Augustus C.

07033000052

^©2013