RESEARCH ANALYSIS ON NIGERIAN READERS. (NEWSPAPERS & MAGAZINES).

RESEARCH ANALYSIS ON NIGERIAN READERS. (NEWSPAPERS & MAGAZINES).

Have you ever wondered why you come across most newspapers on the balcony with only a few pages in existence. Mostly pages containing Religion and Education. Then you wonder where the Sports, Fashion and Entertainment pages might have slipped into. It only takes a clear look at the number on the pages for you to realize that this is not a mere omission. This implies that the missing pages have deliberately been ripped off by those interested in them.

You hardly see an average Nigerian who reads the newspaper from page 1 to the last page. we always skip pages. It might still amuse you that Most Nigerians don't even read the papers they just glance through the photo pages.

Most people read newspapers and magazines for various reasons, but in one word we can summarize all those reasons. we read to be informed, though the information we derive varies by our personal interest and the articles we read.

Here is a research of an average Nigerian reader withing relative age brackets.

MALE (50years - infinity) These are the ones that read with eyeglasses. They are the most readers, constituting up to 50% of the newspaper readers. they always go for the pages that has stories on politics.

FEMALE (50yrs - Infinity) These group don't need to read the papers, they buy them but just for other people. they don't have time for it. They are always either in the market or in the kitchen. They get the information they need from their neighbours, those who have already read the papers.

MALE (21yrs - 49) These group of males have nothing to do with politics. They have accepted though with fear, the fairytale of democracy as government of the bureaucrats. For them it's always the usual lies and (politricks), so whatever happens to the politicians is not part of their interest. All they are interested in the newspapers are the Business pages. They study these pages with great interest on the stock & equity market reports, not excluding the exchange rates.

FEMALE (21yrs - 49) They hardly have time for the papers, for them it's like wasting much out of their little time. But eventually if they do. They don't miss out the fashion pages, they read these pages with much interest on the latest fashion & model gist of the moment. sometimes they tear off these fashion pages that interest them most and stuff them in their handbags to show as a sample to their designers on the new outlook they will like them to make.

MALE (14yrs - 20) What have this group got to do with fashion, rather they go for the sports pages. They are always updated reading about the latest transfer gist, league tables, match fixtures & results not excluding the top scorers chart that always pop out in these sports pages. After reading these sports gist, they spend most of there time bragging on the issues they have read about. they don't go for papers that lack a sports page. most times they even stuff away this sports pages as evidence to their argument with peers.

FEMALE (14yrs - 20) What have this group got to do with sports. It smacks them alot each time their male peers enjoy discussing this subject called sports. Instead these group go for the entertainment pages consisting of Music, movie and what have you got. They go for the latest gist on their celebrities. Feeding their fantasies of becoming one of them. Most times they stuff out these pages in order to fantasize more about their celebrities, wishing they were in their shoes.

MALE & FEMALE (14yrs - 20) These set don't miss out the passion pages that talk about love, sex, friendship, relationship and betrayal. They enjoy these stories, learning new tricks & fun to play out on their opposite sex. they derive new words for their love letters & texts after reading these pages. Sometimes they rip out these pages in order to consult them when they are stocked in the maze of writing a love text to their opposite sex.

MALE & FEMALE (7yrs - 13) These group just go for the kiddies corner. It's a pity that most partakers of these age bracket don't read papers, because only a few of the Nigerian papers contain these kids corners. So when these kids don't see these pages in the papers their parents brought home. They go for the comic drawings on the papers, feeding themselves with either the good or bad they find on the comic drawings.

          This research leaves you with the question. Why is it that education & religion pages don't interest Nigerians? Mostly the youths, they pop into the education pages only when they see the name of their schools. they read just to know why it appeared. They don't care to read the educative articles.

          Most religion pages are left for the fanatics. Nobody dares to get a clue from these pages, except when a crime have been committed in a worship place.

the fact that we must be informed to avoid being deformed have radicalized most minds, that sometimes the information we come across on most pages of our newspapers deform us instead of evaluate us. This explains the fact that most Nigerians read for fun and not for the sake of information.

As a Child (Comic)

Which one of these did you do as a CHILD?

Dip the bread inside the tea?
Mix the entire white rice and stew before eating?
Pour dry garri on your beans porridge?
Share the meat and allow the eldest to pick first?
Crack the bone and suck out the marrow?
Won't eat the meat until you finish the food?
Put the morning tea in the fridge to freeze?
Bite the crown cork and put it into the bottle of coke?
Use the meat to finish the remaining Eba?
Put the medic pill inside the roll of eba?
Lick the plate after eating?
Use your hand to stick out remnants of Biscuit from your teeth and then swallow it?
Stick out your tongue to lick your running nose?
Cry on your first day at school?
Cook with sand and tins?

Be sincere and keep the fun going...

www.umuahianlodge.blogspot.com

GOD & DEVIL (PHYSICAL ILLUSTRATION)

GOD & DEVIL (PHYSICAL ILLUSTRATION)

The difference between God and the Devil can be clearly illustrated as two different building. Thus:

          In God's building there is a wide entrance and a wide exit that allows you to enter and leave at anytime of your choice, while in devil's building there is only an entrance and no exit, which allows you the choice of entry with no choice of leaving.

          In the devil's building the entrance passage is wider than the room itself, this passage entices you to come in unaware of how stuffy the room inside is. But in God's building the entrance passage is narrower; this makes you disbelieve in the existence of glorious things hidden in the large room inside.

          In God's building there are directions, guidelines, and instructions on how to live successfully. Sometimes these guidelines can be boring and quite time taking but the end result cannot be far fetched from good tidings and always quite enticing. One spectacular thing about these guidelines is that you are allowed the choice of choosing whether to adhere or ignore them. Adhering to them increases your tenancy in this building, while ignoring them only brings you closer to the exit.

          In the same manner, the devil's building consist of strict commands and you are not allowed any choice rather than to adhere; There is no liberty of choice or free will; you are compelled by a cohesive force to adhere to all the rules. In which if you disobey you earn painful punishment, and if you obey you only enslave yourself the more; moving yourself further into the stuffy room of discomfort, thereby increasing your chances of suffocation and enslavement and decreasing your chances of an exit through the entrance door.

          Another spectacular thing about this two building is that in God's building you are a TENANT, governed by laws of tenancy in which you have choice of quitting your tenancy and leaving. But in the devil's building you are just a SLAVE compelled to obey strictly the laws of the master.

          Another amazing feature about these buildings is that. There's always a surging crowd at the entrance of the devil's, while inmates of this building are struggling to come out through this same entrance; some even die on their way out. Others not withstanding this fact still insist on tasting the torture of this building. But in outside God's building there is a lesser crowd going in freely without struggle.

          While some are striving to enter either of this building some are just patrolling the balcony of both from this to that, without entering any. But when night comes, surely they will have to choose one or allow one to choose them, because nobody will be left outside. 
            
           Time and eternity are two sides of life. Time waits for nobody but eternity is waiting for you. what you do in time determines where you will spend eternity. killing your time is not murder rather it is suicide. I f you are born in sin, it's not your fault, but if you die in sin, you will have yourself to blame. You may juggle human laws, you may fool human courts, but there's a judgment to come from which there is no appeal.       

AUGUSTUS BILLS

2012

STREET WISE

STREET WISE

          Dark funny corners. A lost mob of slippery-eyed hustlers. Disorganized street corners, and desperate bodies wired into comfort with being restless. Endless needs must be met. Someone must have to loose out on anything dear, or even better everything. There's no law in this realm, just a vague idea of what that means to those totally alien to this reality, and very many are. Far too many to tickle your ribs. 

            The law here is Intelligence. Acidic Smartness. A lorry load of Experience. Craftiness, and a Bucket full of Greed and Patience. You tame what you catch and just hope to hang on to it before someone else took what belonged to him. Besides you didn't bring anything here, you come, fix yourself in somewhere or really hope someone will soon give up and let go. Then you take what belonged to you.

            These streets where born before those wide and multilane highways were carved out. They were born before the streets of Asokoro, Banana Island and PH City. And there's been a historic rumor that secret tunnels still connect both. And hands that have shook in between come blind and deaf. So i guess that's why i call it a rumor. Historic in the sense that the blind and deaf just keep coming and growing. But I would rather leave it at that. Last time I slipped through one, it choked too sweetly, I would fall dead and let things remain things.                      

           

            You could always bump into a face and expect either of two things, a Kiss or a Claw. And that's where the wisdom comes handy, cause you would have to handle it whichever way it dangles. Just make sure you are wearing a sharpened claw beneath those glossy lips. Then keep your eyes locked until you can tell what you are about to get. And keep your bucket of greed and patience. That's what law here looks like. And funny enough, there are no age brackets here. Quite the funniest form of equality. Once you step into the cycle, you are deemed liable to face equal stances. A dog-eat-dog paradise, where a kid could outsmart his dad and patiently expect the dad to wring the fish bones out of his poor mouth. They do it all for 'love'. Or rather as they say "Love of the Game". When you hear someone say that age is nothing but number, you are most probably in the audience of a citizen of this nation. You would surely be glad to keep your bottle of acidic smartness.

            This is where teenagers lecture gray heads on tact and experience. Ha ha..., even a monkey could imagine...!!! Don't find it amazing when you see a fifteen years old Kid with beards as hard as cotton wool run into a video rental and ask for porn. Gosh! They hand over a collection for him to choose from and stick their palms out for the grid. Who cares how you jerk it off?

to be continued ...

Augustus Bills

2012

TWISTS & TURNS

TWISTS & TURNS

Civilization used to be under the illusion that the world as flat and lived lies accordingly, this is a notion we can all believe at today, but once upon a time this had people absolutely terrified. At one point or another in our lives we have all believed a lie; that doesn't make us dumb or stupid.

           In my past believed a lie. I believed it was kill or be killed, I believed drug dealing was an acceptable way to make a living, I believed the street was my territory and the land of my world; I believed there was no hope.

          The moment we are born we all embark upon a journey and like any journey all it takes is for one wrong turn to leave someone in the wrong place. The alcoholic that sleeps in the park is a human being just like me and you; that cocaine addict in the shelter is a human being just like me and you; they just took a wrong turn. Since when did we penalize an individual for being lost?

          That brother of mine you labeled a monster, as an adolescent he had dreams to be a lawyer, or a medical doctor, or an engineer but en route got lost. People can end up lost for various reasons. They could have asked for directions and been misguided, or they could have followed those who, they believed, knew the way and been misled.

          Some of my peers have made your headlines, front pages, your tea-time discussions, all for the wrong reasons. And because of the places they have wound up, you feel you have the right to give them labels. You call us hoodlums. Scoundrels. Monsters. Dogs. Animals. But you only know about the incident that got them in the headlines, not the situations that led them to the incidents.

          I have heard so many take digs at the parents of these people, as if they are the beginning and the end of the matter. But in most cases youths are not sat in their homes with sub-machine guns scared that their parents are going to take their lives. Instead, Fear grips them when they step outside their homes, when they walk down the Creeks, twists and turns of their streets.

          Society is supposed to act as everyone's guardian, but society's neglect of the underprivileged has created what you now refer to as "monsters". Now Frankenstein monsters have been created, the public has turned into an angry mob with pitchforks and torches trying to kill the problem, not to solve it.

          I didn't come into the world with the intent of joining a gang. But after being attacked on several occasions, I had a stark choice to make: either I remained a victim or took up power in my own way. I couldn't walk from my house to the corner shop without the fear of being approached for my phone or the bike I got for my birthday. That constant uncertainty troubled me greatly and, on top of that, my friends were all experiencing the fate of intimidation.

          This led me to the conclusion that I was going to take the bullet, a prospect that both scared me and intrigued me, because I had a sense of feeling unimportant and thought that being a gangster would resolve this.

          From a young age I lacked self-esteem. I was bullied, which contributed to my feeling of worthlessness. I thought representing a culture that seemed to have space for me would offer me solace and a chance to form an identity; an identity which I did form and would constantly put my neck on the line time and time again. It soon spiraled out of control. But even though the position I was in wasn't a good one, it was destroying me and my peers. I felt powerless to end it. As a teenager, I lost one of my best friends to a stabbing; he was the first of my friends to be murdered. He was killed with a stab to the chest. It pierced his heart, causing the blood to shoot from his body at such a pressure, propelling the front of the top he was wearing into the air.

          You would have thought this sort of incident should have been a wake-up call, but all I did was build rage within me. I cried until there were no more tears left to come out from my tear ducts; I didn't eat or drink for days. I was traumatized. His burial was also just wood to fire, not closure, and the emotional damage it inflicted on all of us only strengthened our resolve to become more fearsome as a gang.

Yes i broke the law, but society helped in the breaking of my identity and instead of taking the time to fix it sensitively and with love, all that is thrown at it are more police and more money. There is no easy solution it is not the breakdown of a car, it is a breakdown of a human life, in a lot of cases children.

          I myself was a lost child, broken and traveling a road of destruction en route to either death, lifelong incarceration or the mental institution. But I received the right directions from genuine, loving, sincere people who knew the implications of my journey and decided to be a part in the upbringing of a new future, by directing my steps and helping every step of the way to a better man.

          So next time, instead of pointing fingers of condemnation and judgment, try to use the same finger to point us in the right direction. These issues cannot be treated by incarceration or medicated by psychology. We need practical help, financial aid, safe space and an environment of love: a real helping hand every step of the way, can save a straying youth.

Augustus Bills

2012

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIME

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIME

The paradox of our time in history is greatly affecting our upward surge to greater and reliable positions. We are becoming captives of our own identities, living in prisons of our own creation.

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower view points. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses, but smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, but act less, commit more, but forgive less. We have been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.

We have learned how to make a living, but not a life. We have added years to life, not life to years. We conquered outer space, but not inner space, we have done larger things, but not better things. We have cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We have conquered atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less, plan more, but accomplish less. We have learned to rush, but not to wait.

These are times of fast food and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies and pills that do everything, from cheer to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in showroom but less in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight or to just hit delete.

If we must fight this paradox, we must choose to ponder and reverse the situations, but we shall always remember, “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”.

 Augustus Bills

2012

Dami Duro crooner, Davido beats up Lagos cab driver, assaults girlfriend.

 

A taxi driver, Femi Ajibola, will never forget July 1, 2012 in a hurry. At about 5.30 pm on that day, he received a phone call from a young woman in the Lekki area of Lagos and had quickly answered the subsequent invitation to pick her up.

“The lady introduced herself as Susie. She called me to come and pick her and her friend. They told me to come pick them up at Mobolaji Estate near Lekki Second Roundabout. Later, I took them to a hotel at Lekki Phase I to meet one of their friends.

“From there we left for Beni Apartment in Victoria Island. They said that I should wait for them and promised to be back soon. Not long afterwards, one of the girls began to scream as she was coming towards my car. Behind her, I saw David Adeleke (Davido) and four of his bouncers.

“The girl was running towards me. I think the men had assaulted her. She said I should open the door for her so that she would enter. I opened the door for her; as she was about to enter the car, Davido caught up with her and slapped her face,” Ajibola said.

In a bid to save the girl from further assault, Ajibola switched on the engine of his cab and was about to drive off when the youthful singer suddenly dealt him a slap.

The cabbie said, “He left the girl and faced me. He said I was the one that brought the girls, that I am their boyfriend. He knocked my face against the steering wheel of the cab. This made blood begin to come out from my ear drums. He seized my car keys and in the process, injured me.

“Before I knew what was going on, his four bouncers began to beat me up. They beat me severely and took my car keys from me and chased me away. This happened around 11pm. I went to report the matter at the Bar Beach Police Station, which was the nearest one. I was asked to come back the next morning to report the case.”

The cab at the scene of the incident

Unfortunately, Ajibola had just taken delivery of the vehicle he was using for his transport business and had not paid the dealer in full before the incident. He said that the balance of N100,000 was in the car before the incident had happened. In the whole confusion, he could not pick the money as he was ordered to leave the car by the bouncers.

“I had taken delivery of the vehicle about two weeks before the incident. I had paid my dealer N50,000 and the other N100,000 was in the car because I could not pay it in the bank. The money was in the car and since they had sent me away from the car, I could not retrieve it.

“The following day, I did not find the money in the cab. They did not even let me wind the car windows up before they chased me out. I noticed that the car was ransacked. I managed to obtain Davido’s phone number and called him. But he did not pick his call. So I sent him a text message. Thirty minutes after I sent him the message, someone picked up the call and promised to pass the message to him. I did not get my car key throughout that day. I went to the police station to file a report,” Ajibola said.

“When all efforts to contact Davido proved futile, the police had to go to Susie. Unfortunately, she was of no help.”

“On the fourth day, I went to Susie’s house with the police. The ladies said they were not the ones that beat me. They said the only help they could render was to give me Davido’s address and that they had since settled their differences. The whole point of the police visit was to use the girls to get to Davido, but the girls made a phone call to an aunt of theirs and the policemen left them, saying that they were not the ones that assaulted me,” the cab driver said.

CRIME DIGEST learnt that the genesis of the fight was because the singer was allegedly caught cheating on his girlfriend.

Ajibola continued, I learnt that Davido was dating one of the girls I picked up. They went to his hotel room and caught him with another girl who was their friend. This is what I learnt caused the fight. The police collected Davido’s phone number and called him, but he kept asking them if they knew whose son he was.

“He warned the policemen not to threaten or intimidate him. They in turn told him that they were just inviting him for questioning and not to arrest him. Since then, the effort to get him has not been forthcoming. I had to go to the hospital because I was really injured. Davido gave me a blow to the ear which made it to bleed.

“One day, the DPO of the station assured me that they would make sure they get him. He was irritated by Davido’s boasting that he was immune to arrest. On July 13, one Sharon Adeleke asked me to come and collect the key of my car at 1004. I told her to come and meet me at the police station. She did not turn up till the DPO intervened.

“The DPO invited the Sharon Adeleke, she eventually came to drop the key of the car. I told them that I could not just collect the key of the car without documentation that they gave me the key of the car without a penny, though I lost money and my car got damaged. When I said this, the DPO told me that I did not look like someone that was worth N100,000.

“He said I have no proof that there was money in the car and that all he was after was to retrieve my car keys for me. He said that if I wanted to do anything I should go to court and he ordered me out of his office. Till this moment I have not received my car keys or an apology from the singer,” Ajibola said.

When contacted on the telephone, both Davido and the Divisional Police Officer of Bar Beach police station, Fakeye Adegoke, refused to answer their calls nor did they reply the text messages sent to them.

But Davido’s publicist, Valerie Obaze, denied her client’s involvement in the incident.

“Davido has no knowledge of any incident involving the assault of a taxi driver or the illegal seizure of his car. He does not condone violence of any sort and will not be commenting on this untrue allegation,” she said via email

However, the Police Public Relations Officer, Ngozi Braide promised to get back to CRIME DIGEST with the facts of the matter later.

Source: Punch

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